I DONT KNOW!
It's been a stressful week. My jaw is sore and tired from being clenched. My brain is so tired from thinking.
It's the same old stuff.
We aren't sleeping. Everyone who lives in this house is exhausted by lack of uninterrupted full night sleeping sleep. Our friends built this awesome extra room/office/space behind their house. It is really just the size of a very small room, but its well insulated. They have been taking turns sleeping out there so that one of them gets a full night's sleep. This is such an unbelievably fabulous idea.
The deer keep eating our strawberries.
My orchid is dying. I have no idea how to save it. I tried...well, I tried reading about it and got so confused that I didn't know what to do. I do not have a green thumb.
Sis was running around the backyard trying to catch two butterflies in her hands.
The Cowboy state has super fab summer weather.
We had friends come visit for the day!
And I got to go on a solo bike ride around town.
Sis is now eating carrots. She has hated them with a passion since she was five months old.
Bubs has a book that he likes to sleep with, 'Lovebug'. Super cute.
Bubs is speaking sentences now. Clearly! And knows his colors (mostly).
I have had several good conversations (two today!) about grown up real life controversial things that make you think and are so good for me and make me feel alive
We slept in until 8freaking30 this morning!!! (that was not without the 3am wake up. But at least it was really sweet. Sis was laying in Bubs bed. They were snuggled together and she was telling him a story 'And snail. And butterflies. and snakes. and bees.' in a very calming soothing voice. Bubs answered each with an 'uh huh uh huh uh huh'. And then she started singing 'Come thou fount' which is the newest song of choice.) We are catching up on the exhaustion and that feels good.
In one of my grown up conversations this week a new friend asked if I was crafty or artsy at all. I answered truthfully, I am not. But I do really like words (even though I don't use many big ones. I still like them!) And I like to write. She asked what I wrote and I said I started a blog...I know, everyone has a blog. But this is my space to decompress and remember what's important. She asked what it was about 'just life with the kids?' And I said 'yes, but moments. I am trying to remember the moments in the midst of the chaos that is life and hold on to those' Which, I didn't know that was what I was trying to do when I said it. That happens often to me. Where I sit down to write or sit down to talk and all of a sudden words start appearing on the screen and words start pouring out and I didn't know that was how I felt...I mean I did....but I didn't. And once words have been put to something, once something is named, you can understand it. You can appreciate it. My pal Richard Louv wrote this in his book that I still have to review for you sometime 'you cannot truly appreciate it until you name it' (or something like that anyway) He was talking about nature and being able to name birds, flowers, trees, rivers, creeks, bends in the road...but I think it's true of life. Once you name the situation, once you put words to the feelings it is no longer quite so overwhelming or daunting or scary. It then has a presence you can deal with. FEAR. LOVE. HURT. ANGER.
So. I guess what I'm grateful for this week are moments. The moments listed. And the ones I've already forgotten about that gave me pause if even for a second.
I am grateful for the moments of every day that help me to remember what I'm doing and what life is about and that my little posse is actually really beautiful. The moments that break up the mundane of making peanut butter and honey sandwiches EVERY SINGLE DAY.