Friday, July 12, 2013

Friends: Gold and Silver

I've been thinking about my friendships this week. New and old.

What's that saying about friends? "New friends and old friends. Which is better? One is silver and the other gold"

I experienced that this week.

The beauty of a relationship that just picks up where it was left. A relationship that has already been built so you can legitimately, honestly, and not-awkwardly ask about the tough things and just legitimately, honestly, and not-awkwardly share the answers to those tough things because there is this foundation of trust. A place where you feel good and yourself and calm because of that foundation thats already there.

And the beauty of a friendship that is just getting started. You don't have that trust built up yet but sometimes it doesn't even feel like work because it's just fun to have new friends. To hear their stories. To hear their perspectives and opinions and be challenged by them. And it's exciting!

Regarding the second, I read a blog this week that was talking about having friends who support YOU and not necessarily your ideas. Friends who you can and do disagree with but can continue to love, support, encourage one another. As some of new friends and I are getting past the 'getting to know you' phase of friendship to the place where you are actually friends and not feeling each other out anymore, I am realizing the value of this. You wouldn't think it but there are a lot of very different people up here and most of them are open and willing to tell you what they think. Willing to have hard conversations, controversial conversations where you can actually say the words (and not couch it some other flowery-debate-type language) 'I dont agree' in one sentence but in the next say 'let's have margaritas tomorrow night'. These interactions, conversations, friendships give space. It feels like there is space to think. Space to test out ideas. Space to not have it all figured out so let's just talk about all sides of it. Space to be wrong (because we aren't trying to prove who is right) Just space.

Which is something I apparently value quite a bit. I was asked earlier this week what bothered me most about my brother growing up and I answered 'He was always in my space!' And then I was asked what bothers me most now and I answered 'when people are too much in my space'. ha! That was an interesting revelation.

While this freedom to express my thoughts and to learn about others is good, we are still in the beginning of friendship. We haven't been through things yet.

Where as our friends who came up for the night on their way to Washington (state) we have known for 4 years. We watched and lived along side them while they were in school and while they had a baby and while this hard thing happened and that happy thing happened. And they watched and lived along side us while we had two babies, actually being there for the birth of the second one, were in school and had hard things and happy things happen. We had four years of sharing hearts and lives and that builds something.

I can't say I value my new friends over my old friends or vice versa. They both bring such good things to the table and to our lives. And it is so refreshing in very different ways to be with each.

What about your friendships?

Also, this happened today. Poor Sis missed out on her smoothie bc she was snoozing in the stroller. (Don't worry. We saved her some)

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