Sunday, April 24, 2016

part iii

part iii
In those school, diaper, spit up, single-parent, car less days I was the point person for all things. And so I was the one applying for a lot of these jobs. My feet were firmly planted on the ‘not Wyoming. Anywhere but Wyoming’ side of things until we were a month away from graduation and still no prospects. Something in me decided to look--and whoa were there a lot of jobs available Lander. I closed the computer and thought and thought. And then I opened the computer and just did it. Ran through the application, attaching the resume as fast as I could so i wouldn’t regret it. And didn’t tell Darkknight.
How could I? No way. I couldn’t do it. After all the years of trying to convince me and me only agreeing to mountains, hiking, and camping but NOT Wyoming. I had been trying to compromise. And now I was giving in. Fully. Throwing the towel in. 
There was still the possibility of not getting a call back--I knew that and was banking on it. 

I have a scattered history with rash spur of the moment decisions, and almost every time I do these rash spur of the moment things I know its the right thing to do...even if not the thing I want to do. But I try to stay open and running though the process has been the only way for me to stay open to the newscarydifferent. 

But there was a call back and I was excited and frozen with fear at the same time. 

I think Darkknight was thrilled. I was on board. I wasn’t really. But I was.

My parents were shocked and horrified. They knew we were looking at the mountains--but I didn’t exactly tell them in the most graceful way. I think mostly because I wasn’t sure how badly I really wanted to do it even if I was getting tired of the concrete and the traffic and the people.

The interview was schedule for a month out. Enough time to finish school, wean the baby, arrange babysitting and be excited for a few days away that we hadn’t had in years.

Darkknight’s parents came up to watch the crew. and we happily flew off. Because of a mix up we flew into Jackson instead of Casper and that is enough to do anyone in. ‘This? In my backyard? It’s not real. I’m dreaming.’ 

Except not. Not dreaming at all. 

We rented a car and drove over the pass and past Dubois and the butterflies ate at me as the last 76 miles crawled to a snail’s pace. But then we started seeing houses and green fields after miles and miles and miles of the brown barren high desert that lays in between us and Dubois. And the mountains started get closer again. And I started to feel ok about this mysterious place. We entered the edge of town and there was a brand new grocery store and a brand new hotel that we were staying in! ok, ok ok. 

The next morning was the interview. I dropped him off and I went to find the library and explore the town. I found the library. It was new! But not open until mid-morning. My first experience of small town culture. So I piddled around walking and exploring. Up and down main street. The morning had started out cool compared the high humidity 100 degrees I just come from and my first thought was ‘its going to be too cold here. Can’t do it’ 
But then i felt the sun. The way it burns its way through you even when the air is 70 degrees and I was quickly hot.
The mountains were lovely. The sky was blue blue blue. The town was adorable. Small but thriving on Main Street--not the abandoned messes you see in some small towns. All the stores were local. No chains! (later learned there are a few--I just had never heard of them before)

The hospital sits on top of the highest hill in town. Amazing view. And I thought ‘We are going to be able to BREATHE up here!’ Have space to rest and recharge. 
We came home excited and ready for a new thing. 

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