A friend came over today.
She has a daughter the same age as Sis. They get along splendidly. They are both intense and don't like to be touched, sprayed on, or looked at. There must be some kind of radar for this kind of thing because they get each other and are able to stay out of each other's space while still having a fabulous time. You know, exchanging shoes and skirts like normal friends.
I found myself saying a few times that I was learning to 'let it go' and telling myself to 'let it go'.
About things like the toys that are ALL OVER my posse's room. And the mess in our backyard. Also courtesy of our sweet little posse.
I like things to be in order. I like them to be organized. I don't like dishes piled up on the counter. I don't like things, stuff, toys, whatever on the floor. It drives me crazy when the pillows are pulled off the couch. It makes me feel chaotic. I have a hard time thinking clearly when my environment is so messy.
BUT cleaning up the floor 10x a day is exhausting, it is also exhausting to have the kids clean up 10x a day-rarely can they do it unsupervised with minute by minute prompting, although they are getting better at it.
And as we are trying to soak up every last single baby drop of summer I find myself, miraculously leaving the house when the dishes are piled up, and the blocks look like a rug on the living room floor, and laundry is thrown all over floor and Sis is wearing something that clashes and is on backyards and probably inside out as well with tangled hair that she refuses to comb and Bubs has on his stinky brown shoes without socks on again.
We are leaving the house like that to bike around town and hike in the mountains as much as we can before the road closes in a few months and explore dry lake beds and take walks and play hard before we have to be a bit more creative about those things.
As much as it drives me crazy to have a house like that, a place for everything and nothing in its place, it drives me outside a bit more and I think that is a good thing.
Learning to let go of things that are not so important but seem so urgent is a process. I still find myself in a flurry of 'putting things away' activity before leaving but less and less. And it bothers me less and less to leave the house like that.
I think this might be a good thing.
Or a sign of exhaustion??